Stressed Out Students? Here’s How to Help Teens Cope with Worry (and Win Back Their Smiles!)

To support mental health we have to talk about mental health. Everyday. We have to stay engaged with our children to pick up in any changes in their appetite or behaviors. We will have to normalize the discussion about mental health, just like how we talk to them about their physical health and hygiene.

Establishing role model behavior with regards to relationships, sleep and self-care are critical. Children often follow the actions of adults more than they follow the words spoken by them.

Here are a few things that adults who have teens and young adults under their care can do to preserve and protect their mental wellbeing.

1. It is very difficult for teens to open up to adults because of fear of judgement and punishment. So, remind them consistently that there’s a safe space between you and them and they can discuss anything that is on their mind. These conversations can happen during walks, in the car or even at dinner.

2. Acknowledge their hardships. We are all human and make mistakes. Life generally is difficult, especially for teens and young adults who are trying to find their way in the world. Be objective with asking questions, “How do you feel about this situation?” Is a good question than, “I think you should have done this.” or “How could you do this?”

3. It can be tempting to fix things for them and make a smooth road ahead of them, but it is their journey not yours. So, back off and them their fail and falter, especially if the stakes are low.

4. When tragedy strikes, be a rock for them. Teens and young folks don’t necessarily have all the tools to process serious illness and death of their loved ones. Help them understand that grief is natural and that there are many things they can be doing for honoring the legacy of the lost one. – Write a poem, make a memory book etc. If needed, arrange for counseling sessions.

5. Encourage them to seek help when needed. No one has the answers to all their problems, and seeking help is a sign of courage. There’s a reason we have many different kinds of professionals who help us deal with trauma and other issues.

6. When there are routines and boundaries established for behavior expectations, teens do well. They like predictability because it gives them a sense of security and safety. If things are going to change or unforeseen circumstances are occurring, keep them in the loop as much as possible.

7. That doesn’t mean that their every minute has to be planned out to the T. We should leave pockets in the day open for the mind to wander. That can be their time for zero stimulation from the outside world, where they are unwinding and de-stressing themselves.

8. Let them see the value of good eating habits, and adequate sleep. Teach them how positivity breeds positivity. And what better way to get some happy hormones in the body than to move and laugh. Give them tools like meditation and mindfulness.

9. Explain to them the power of words and their actions. Ask them to think before they act and ponder on the consequence of what they are thinking and planning to do. What is the need for an action or a response to something they don’t like? Is it really needed, challenge them to ask themselves before they act.

The lives of the high school students I teach are hemmed in everywhere by social pressures and expectations: high-stakes testing, the looming shadow of college admissions, the fiercely competitive school system, the painful process of figuring out who you are, and the ubiquitous desire for peer acceptance. Add to this the unseen pressures – fractured or fragmented home lives, emotional or physical violence and abuse, struggles with substance use, legal problems, and the wide range of issues borne by the many immigrant communities across the country – and it makes for a period of unsustainable emotional distress. In recent weeks the constant pressure has meant dealing with student depression almost daily, and helping support those who I feel might be toeing the line of self-harm.

~ In High School, the Kids Are Not All Right By David Tow; Read more HERE.