Most of Us Only Become Remarkable by Dying Too Soon: Lessons on Life and Legacy

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The Untimely Remarkable: Valuing Life Before Loss

Many years ago, I wrote in a poem: “Only untimely deaths make most of us remarkable.” What I meant was that, too often, our brilliance is only acknowledged if our life is cut abruptly short.

Here’s the truth. We all spend our lives trying to matter. We want to be seen, to be heard while we’re here and to be remembered forever when we’re gone. But, fame (not infamy) favors only a few of us brave ones who are willing to push the boundaries of commitment and excellence. Unless, of course, we’re gone “too soon” and finally the world pauses to say, “Wow, look at what we had.”

As a society, we tend to romanticize or elevate the deceased, performing tributes and recalling virtues that were often overlooked when that person was here in flesh and blood.

The aftermath of a person becomes a highlight reel, a YouTube video or a Tiktok tribute that will go viral. The recycled captions would read how “we would light up the room when we entered it”. Our absence becomes performance art for content creators.

But, why do we ignore talent when it is around us? Is it because we’re all caught up in our own routines? Or we’ve become too used to their presence to see the quiet brilliance of their being?

The point is, each one of us is remarkable in our own way. Most of us are thoughtful and want to contribute to the society in a meaningful way. In spite of our obligations and burdens, we’re trying our best always. (I’m not including those who don’t mean well.)

So, we can start by acknowledging the small and big efforts around us, and celebrating the micro wins that often go unseen. We can show our deepest appreciation to others in our interactions with them.

And let’s not wait for a tragedy to wake us up to each other’s brilliance. In this chaotic digital age of endless trends, it’s almost revolutionary to pause and notice something as simple as a neighbor’s kindness.

Because if the only way to be unforgettable is to vanish… what does that say about how we value each other while we’re alive?

We can do better. Let’s start now.

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Mind map of our living legacy

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