How Hormones Shape Your Child’s Growth, Emotions, and Behavior

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How Hormones Shape Your Child

We’ve all been there as teenagers, where we were rolling our eyes or throwing tantrums to our parents commands. Our day and age now is different, but there are few aspects of our human biology that is timeless. As children transition into their teen years, they’re not just coping with increasing homework or peer pressure, they’re also adjusting to their changing bodies.

As they grapple with understanding their place in the world, they’re also at the same time, figuring out the human being they’re becoming, literally and emotionally. So ensuring that they are fed, are taken care of and keeping them alive (well, let’s give ourselves a medal for that) is not enough if we have to enable them to thrive.

What feels like a non-issue for you might mean a very big embarassing moment for them and can even feel like the end of the world to them. That’s because they haven’t lived long enough to gather the wisdom of “this too shall pass.” They just know what they feel in the moment, and often might not even have the vocabulary to put those feelings into words.

From Milk Cries to Privacy Pleas

It starts simply enough. Babies cry because they’re hungry, tired, or just need a cuddle. Toddlers push boundaries to see where the edges are. By about age five, they start to wonder what’s going on in other people’s heads and develop more social curiosity.

And then – the Big Switch. Puberty hits, and if we’re curious about their day or life, that’s off limits LOL. Because the PFC is not fully formed for teens, its unable to regulate their emotions. As a result, teens live their lives navigating highly volatile emotional environments in school and home. No surprise, they seem to act like they have less regard for outcomes. Their natural responses might sometimes seem like over the top reactions and mood swings might lead to severe anxiety and depression.

Read more on Understanding Teens and Their Youthful Rebellion HERE.

Hormones 101

Hormones are basically chemical messengers sent out by glands to tell different parts of the body what to do. For most girls, puberty kicks off between ages 8 and 13; for boys, between 9 and 14. While their bodies are doing all this behind-the-scenes work, their brains are still under construction, and won’t be fully done until their mid-20s. That’s one of the reasons why you can have your children under your insurance until the age of 25!

So yes, part of the moodiness, unpredictability, and “Why are they like this?” moments are just biology doing its thing. Well, for the most part.

Helping Them Through Growing Pains

Lead with Compassion

Puberty can make kids feel awkward and self-conscious, especially if they’re ahead of or behind their peers in physical changes. They might experiment with different versions of themselves – changing friend groups, style, or interests. They’ll likely want more privacy and independence. And yes, they may start questioning family rules or traditions. That’s not them rejecting you; it’s them figuring out themselves, especially when kids they see on social media seem to be having it their way.

Pay Attention

While most of this is normal, adolescence can also be when serious challenges appear – peer pressure, risky behavior, anxiety, depression, eating disorders. Watch for signs like withdrawal from friends, changes in sleep or appetite, unexplained aches, or talk of hopelessness. If you see these, reach out to a doctor or mental health professional.

Keep the Conversation Alive

Kids don’t always open up when you sit them down for a serious talk. But they might when you’re driving, cooking, or shopping together. And cars. Cars are the best places. If they do share, resist the urge to immediately fix it. Ask questions that help them think through their next step, like: “What do you think would help you feel better about this?”

Hold the Line

Yes, they might go from giggling at your joke to rolling their eyes in ten seconds flat. Breathe. Stay calm. Keep boundaries consistent, and if you co-parent, be a united front. Kids will notice if parents are not on the same page.

Start Early

You don’t have to wait until puberty to prepare them. Introduce age-appropriate talks about body changes early. Practice scenarios around peer pressure and decision-making before they’re in the thick of it.

Model Healthy Living

Show them what balance looks like – eating well, sleeping enough, moving your body, nurturing friendships, managing stress. Teach them coping tools like deep breathing, journaling, or going for a walk. As they say, they don’t do as they say, but they do as you do.

Finally, Stay Optimistic

You probably remember your own teenage years and the mix of feelings that came with them. Somehow, you made it to the other side. And now you get to help guide them there. If you hold space for their changes, keep talking, and show up with love, chances are one day you’ll look at the adult they’ve become and think, “Wow. We did it.”

And if it gets overwhelming? Remember – there’s no shame in getting extra help. Parenting isn’t a solo sport and you don’t have to be a gold medal parent!

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Articles On Mindful Parenting

It’s not only children who grow. Parents do too. As much as we watch to see what our children do with their lives, they are watching us to see what we do with ours. I can’t tell my children to reach for the sun. All I can do is reach for it, myself.
~ Joyce Maynard