Infinite Dreams, Finite Time: Why Making Peace With an Ordinary Life Is So Hard

I grew up watching aunties in my hometown chop vegetables for dinner while absorbed in melodramatic soap operas on TV. Today, the scene is a little different. Midlifers now fill living rooms with smartphones and multiple streaming services, binge-watching the latest courtroom dramas and murder mysteries.

While I quickly grow bored with that of arrangement, for a few years now, a deeper fear has stayed with me. Somehow, my time must matter, and I need to have something to show to the world after all its done.

And that’s how I decided that I will create 90% of the time and consume only 10%. Of course, on doom scrolling days, there’s no stopping me. Because the percentages are easily switched up to when I don’t even write a single sentence in my notebook all day until I’ve watched YouTube till its last video.

But here’s what I want to explore in this essay. I’ve been wrestling with the tyranny of ambition that shadows my days, and several questions keep returning. Is an ordinary life shameful? What exactly is the definition of ambition? How do I reconcile with the infinite ideas and dreams I have with the brutally finite amount of time I’ve got to live on this beautiful planet?

Honestly, to each their own, right? A multi-millionaire might be dreaming about making it big as a billionaire. And a yogi might be striving to meditate all waking hours of the day.

My question is really simple. Why can’t we all just be without turning every moment into a pursuit of material success or spiritual perfection?

I guess to some extent, I understand that our primary longingness for immortality stems from our need to not be forgotten.

We want to avoid the inevitable, we fret about it and we feel abnormal about the most normal aspect of everyone’s lives – our death. Longevity influencers online are selling us supermolecule smoothie recipes that claim will help us live “forever”.

Ok, what if we do live longer though. Most of us don’t know how to “kill time” on a lazy Sunday afternoon but we want to live forever.

This boredom is showing up online in our actions. In this attention economy, social media feels like our tool to be relevant. Post, say or create something that sticks. The urge to look unique and valuable has led us to living exceptionally curated lives.

But, truly how long do you remember what you’ve scrolled past something spectacular in the morning? I can’t remember a single thing I’ve watched on my phone today, including the absolute cringe fest that some people resort to in the name of doing anything to be noticed.

I understand that since our world is the entire globe now, our standards have become exceptionally high. We know what an alternate lifestyle looks like, so we aspire for things that are not even part of our ecosystems. It feels like we’re doing enough ever, because someone else is doing the next best job, taking the next best trip and having the best time ever of theirs lives.

Anyway, I digress. See, there’s nothing wrong with ambition. It’s just by mistaking constant striving for a meaningful life, we are ignoring all the beauty that’s already part of our current existence.

Every waking minute doesn’t have to be a conflict between presence and productivity. Leave a few pockets in the day to just unbusy yourself and breathe. We can have a winner’s mindset while being stoics in our approach.

Ram Dass had famously reminded us of this, “Instead of the now and in the moment, we are usually in memories, plans, reflections, regrets and judgements. Being in the now is in preparation for dying.”

Little in life is of much consequence. In the circle of evolution, our existence will be as short as a passing thought, a marquee that scrolls by too quickly for the eye to fully read.

Does it mean we should simply do whatever we want, live however we please, because only a few of us will make a substantial impact? That’s not the point I’m making.

Death remains the greatest equalizer. And if we’re too busy trying to outlive ourselves, we risk missing on the some of the most glorious moments and interactions we will encounter in our daily lives.

So, instead of worrying about it, let’s focus on making the most of our time here with one another. Rather than striving for immortality, we must work to make our present life worth living. In our desperate quest to redeem ourselves forever, we jeopardize the very impact we hope to create.

Sometimes, I feel like those aunties were teaching me something important all along. You have a job to do right now. And sometimes, even if it’s just chopping vegetables, do it fully present, while enjoying your favorite show.

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