When Parenting Influencers Go Too Far: The Shocking Truth About Child Exploitation

I remember that summer of 2023 like it was yesterday. I kept replaying this three-minute Ring camera video over and over that I had seen on news. It showed an emaciated, slow moving 12-year-old boy walking up to a neighbor’s door around 10 am in the scorching Utah heat. He calmly asks the man to take him to the nearest police station.

“What’s going on, son?” the old gentleman asks as he steps out onto the porch. The boy simply says it’s “personal business.” But the man notices the boy’s thin legs, visible wounds and the duct tape. He asks the boy to sit in a chair while he dials 911.

The homeowner voice breaks with emotion as he describes the boy as “hungry and thirsty,” with “duct tape around his ankles and wrists” and “sores around them.” “This kid has obviously been detained,” he tells the dispatcher. “He’s obviously covered in wounds.”

I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Later, as I followed the case obsessively, I learned the boy had climbed out a window from the home of Jodi Hildebrandt, where he was being held captive. He was wearing oversized checkered shorts and a blue button-down shirt.

His open wounds had been wrapped in duct tape (dressed underneath with a mixture of honey and cayenne pepper), along with sores from prior restraints like ropes and handcuffs.

When he finally got water and food from the kind neighbors, he stayed stoic. He even said what happened to him was “his fault”, showing how deeply he was being psychologically manipulated.

Police and EMTs arrived quickly, treated him on site, then took him to the hospital on a gurney. During this time, he revealed details about his abuse, including being bound with ropes and weights, and mentioned that his 9-year-old sister was still at Hildebrandt’s house, prompting officers to investigate further.

This was the case of Ruby Franke, the former “8 Passengers” YouTube mom influencer, and Jodi Hildebrandt, her business partner and counselor. What started as parenting advice twisted into something horrific, rooted in religious extremism and control.

“8 Passengers” Ruby Franke and Family

I’ve tried to give moms the benefit of the doubt before. I’ve spoken about Lisa Montgomery and Erika Murray and how trauma and mental health issues can play into terrible actions. I’ve argued there’s no such thing as a “bad mom”, only good ones or spontaneous ones, because I know I’m not a perfect mother myself. I’ve defended the messy reality of motherhood, saying we all have off days, and that children thrive when their moms are physically fit, mentally strong, and emotionally available.

Children want to be seen and valued. The tender attention they seek can either build or the lack of it can crush their self-esteem. So much of how children are nurtured depends on the mental well-being of the parents, especially, the mother. Children thrive when the mother is physically fit, mentally strong, and emotionally available.

But this case? It forces me to confront when maternal instinct goes terribly wrong. Instead of protecting, it can enable predatory behavior. Emotional neglect hides behind “perfect” online facades, where undivided attention gets sacrificed for views and likes. Kids’ cues get ignored or staged, leading to rebellion, low self-worth, or worse.

See, the Hildebrandt-Franke abuse case is hardly an anomaly. There are predators and abusers as long as humans have existed. And now in the social media age, we see a pattern with mom influencers and family vloggers. Parents are turning kids into clickbait with dramatic thumbnails, oversharing private lives, and prioritizing content over connection.

Think Piper Rockelle and her mom Tiffany Smith, a group of young creators making skits and challenges, but in 2022, 11 teens’ parents sued over alleged emotional, physical, and sexual abuse, overwork, and withholding pay. YouTube demonetized the channel, and the case dragged on for years.

Or Jordan Cheyenne, caught in 2021 coaching her crying son for a dramatic thumbnail about their dog’s illness, pure emotional manipulation for engagement. She apologized and stepped away from vlogging. Will that make her a perfect parent overnight though?

I just watched the Evil Influencers documentary about Jodi Hildebrandt on Netflix. It is horrifying and timely, shining a light on hidden abuse. Is it groundbreaking? Not really. And does it speak about any solutions. It doesn’t and instead delves into why Hildebrandt is the kind of person she is. Of course, the tag line of the documentary already indicates that this is going to be about her and not about finding solutions to these horror stories.

Here’s what I would like to take away though. Emotional neglect is preventable with awareness. Studies show distracted parenting — phones always in hand — leads to tantrums, hyperactivity, and kids feeling ignored and unimportant. The Still Face experiment proves how quickly children suffer when a parent goes unresponsive.

Recent laws in Illinois, California and Utah post-Franke now require earnings from child content to go into trusts. There’s change coming, but it needs to keep up with the times with urgency.

Franke’s vlogs had long showcased her harsh discipline, but viewers were considering it as loving guidance and strict discipline necessary for raising well behaved kids. If the child had not dared to escape the way he did, this abuse who have gone on for decades. Hope these children find some loving guidance and find meaning and purpose to thrive.

Our children should not be worrying about keeping themselves safe. They just want to be seen, heard, and loved. Not monetized or “fixed” through cruelty. Let’s learn from this pain and do better.

Our children deserve nothing less.

Franke Child Asking For Help

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