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Which Me Should I Be?

In the real world, unless it’s Halloween, it should be pretty clear who I am. But, when it comes to the online world, I can be a penguin, a zombie or a ninja. I can have a screen name like SexyKitten or AngryBoy.

I can make up screen names, create fictitious profiles, or look any way I wish to look like by designing an avatar (a cartoon alter ego) that is only restricted by my imagination.

But, true identity can be based off a carefully constructed authentic self. Find out how.

The Cost of Free(dom):

We often forget that things come at a cost. The free wifi, the fast internet and the social media tools that allow us to keep in touch with our loved ones for free. They all have a price. They come at the cost of our eye balls and our attention. We forget that we traded that corner office and that fat pay check for the time with our growing children, and our dying mothers.

We work so hard, our knees and backs ache. We gain so much in return, but lose so much of our freedom in the process. We are driven by our goals, our desires and our schedules. We have traded so much for our mental sanity. In pursuit of these goals that society has set for us, we have even lost ourselves – our true identity. And, most of us are still searching for the things that we know money can’t buy. Happiness and Freedom.

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Self-Worth and Self Compassion:

We’re all raised to be grateful for what we have. And this determines how we see ourselves. We do so little to celebrate our strengths. We’re hard on ourselves often mistaking it for humility. We take constant guilt trips about our bad habits.

All I’m asking is that you grow your heart a little. To not take yourself so seriously and to forgive the way you look. To cut your losses and give yourself some slack. Take stock of your accomplishments and acknowledge your abilities. Appreciate for how far you’ve come. You are amazing just the way you are.

In a way that Buddhism teaches radical acceptance to us. That we’re inherently lovely, wise and compassionate. If we were not that way, we would have seen all strangers as cruel and irredeemable. Wouldn’t we? So, why not apply the same principle to ourselves and be a little compassionate to the person who we are and aspire to be?

Read more HERE.

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Seeking external validation, is an empty victory at best and elusive and confidence and soul crushing at worst. ~ Unknown

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Aligning Values With Actions: 

Can you guess what’s both appalling and admirable at the same time? If you guessed “Being yourself both online and off”, you’re right.

And that’s what happens when you seek authenticity and live in accordance with your values. You set your life up to your own standards and not someone else’s. And that’s going to be quite appalling and admirable to those around you.

Forget all the noise. First try to figure out first what your strengths are and what your limitations are. That way you will truly find out what you are capable of doing and what you are not. And how much growth there is left for you to get to where you want to be. You will also be one step closer to being your true self, because you know where you stand in the big scheme of things. There is a road ahead of you and you know exactly where you stand.

Conclusion: Be You.

Eventually, all that self-reflection will help you figure out what you are pursuing with your strengths. What is the ultimate result you want? Is it power? Is it privilege? Is it material wealth? Are you really interested in spending a life of social and virtue signaling?

If it is not any of these, what is it that you are living for? One more question to ask yourself are you performing or living your true self? It’s almost impossible to be yourself online.

So, if you want a measuring tape to see how you’re doing, understand that the discrepancy between your personal and public persona should be as little as possible. If you are the same person in a group, social media, work and also behind closed walls when no one’s watching you – that’s when you know you’re being your true self.

Shakespeare wrote these words and his character, Polonius speaks them in the play Hamlet. ‘To thy own self be true.’ – One must be true to their principles and who they are.

When we step away from ourselves to watch our life from a 35,000 feet view, we understand how insignificant and pale our problems and issues are compared to what is happening around the world.

We are natural born givers, our love and compassion can serve so many in greater need than us. Time to think about it. Time to think about it from our own unique and authentic way.

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Be a safe person.
Be someone who can be trusted to receive another person’s
vulnerabilities, struggles, and fears, all while offering them
wisdom, protection, and confidentiality in return.
Be someone whose energy and presence bring serenity and joy
into a room, making those around them feel secure.
Be a person whose words speak life and whose embrace can
make even a stranger feel seen, heard, and loved.

~ Morgan Richard Olivier

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