Inside the Teen Mind: How Teens Think and Make Decisions – What Every Parent Needs to Know

How Teens Think

As kids turn into teens, they are ruled by physiological changes they’re undergoing and as a result their decisions are governed by emotions. That makes them seem less predictable, volatile and moody.

They are constantly judging themselves, but, they don’t like to lie. Instead, they withhold information which produces the same effect as telling a lie.

Even while they are worried about disappointing their parents, they mostly act to impress their peers.

They seek safety in groups. Ask any child why their play video games or use so much of social media, and the response is unanimous. “It’s because, everyone is doing it. There’s nothing else to do.” Because children feel like peers are the only ones who understand them, and if they’re doing it, so should they.

How Adults Decide

This is how we adults make decisions. Based on how keenly we’re attuned to our feelings.

So when you’re addicted to something, like drugs or violence, you’re showing an “I don’t care” attitude.
Drugs: I don’t care for myself so much.
Violence: I don’t care for others so much.

The Teen Decision Making Process

Teenage is the age of many firsts and as a result, the pull of novelty in decision making is high. Otherwise, at what age would one experience their first love, their first paycheck, their first car ride as a driver, and ultimately their first taste at independence?

Novelty, along with danger, and unpredictability sharply increases the rewards and the feel good hormones called Dopamine that occur in a teenager’s brain. And these dopamine spikes contribute in a major way in their decision making process.

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Articles On Mindful Parenting

It’s not only children who grow. Parents do too. As much as we watch to see what our children do with their lives, they are watching us to see what we do with ours. I can’t tell my children to reach for the sun. All I can do is reach for it, myself.
~ Joyce Maynard