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Words Matter
Believe it or not, having rules, expectations and boundaries to follow, makes children feel loved and protected. Without rules, they begin to question if they even matter to us.
Ask them subjective questions and not task oriented questions. Talk to them about life. “How are you, what are your dreams?”
Instead of “Are you done with your homework?”, ask, “How was school? Can I help you with anything?”
Parenting is of two types usually. Permissive parenting is where the parent is less controlling and willing the child to fail and learn on their own. On the extreme, the child is usually indulged in whatever he or she desires. Authoritative parenting is where the parent is less likely to accommodate the child’s wishes. There’s usually a lot of discipline and less room to “play” under such strict conditions.
There’s a third kind, which is a blend of both. A parent can be indulgent and permissive as far as the child’s wishes and desires are concerned. The parent can then try to show reason to the child and come to a common understanding. For example, the child wants an expensive gift and the parent can reason with him to consider a less expensive one. On the other side, the parent can also set expectations such as non-negotiable rules on certain types of unacceptable behaviors. For example, all electronic devices have to be put away by 9pm.
What type of parent are you?
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Reframe The Behavior
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