How to Stop Being a People-Pleaser and Build Unshakable Self-Confidence

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Just how far will you abandon your authenticity to gain approval of others?

Approval or authenticity. Where do you draw the line?

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We can train as much and as long as we want, but unless we test it in real life, we are not turning our learning into action. When our training and testing coincide, we’re living our truth.

When we speak and act our personal truth and values, we’re living in an authentic way. We begin to live in a “No conflict” zone, where our thoughts, words and our actions are aligned.

Here’s what can be confusing. “Should I just be one thing to be authentic?” No, our authentic self can be flexible & firm, fierce & forgiving – all at once.

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Too much authenticity without concern for others can be detrimental in a lot of ways. Take the example of Tony Hayward, the then CEO of BP, who was talking to US Coast Guard employees about massive oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico. Imagine the thousands of lives and livelihoods that were effected and the disruption that cause the entire surrounding communities.

Tony said in a press conference. “We’re sorry for the massive disruption it’s caused to their lives. We are. There’s no one who wants this thing over more than I do. You know, I’d like my life back. So there’s no one who wants this thing done more than I do and we are doing everything we can to contain the oil offshore, defend the shoreline and return people’s lives to normal as fast as we can. There’s just no effort being spared in any dimension.” It’s fair to understand why he was kicked out of his job after the conference.

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Authenticity is how we validate ourselves, build our personal brand, and fuel our confidence. Just how well do we know ourselves? Authenticity is a daily practice of embracing who we are and letting go of what we think we’re supposed to be. Side effects of authenticity include, but are, not limited to, joy and happiness.

And most importantly, how can we be anything BUT ourselves? If I don’t want to be what others have defined me to be, then who is my TRUE self?

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After all if you’re not what others have defined you to be, then who is your TRUE self? Let’s us look at the true nature of things around us. Nature itself is continuous, eternal and unyielding.

In front of nature, we remove our armor, because we can’t do anything but surrender in front of its magnitude. True joy is when you connect with your true nature. Nourish your inner nature and you won’t find yourself influenced by jealousy, anger, ego and greed.

Use your body to convey your authentic image. Dress comfortably. Maintain soft eye contact, show them you have the other person’s attention and keep your hands open, to show approachability.

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Finally, there are dangers in personal narratives. Be the one around whom people try a little harder to be their own self.

Watch what you tell yourself what you are and what you are NOT capable of. Here’s a question.
Who have you allowed to decide that you’re NOT good enough? And I don’t understand this, how can you be anything but YOURSELF?

Authentic is a rare breed. Join it.

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In Hamlet, Shakespeare writes, “This above all: to thine own self be true”

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Body Language Expert Explains How to Show Confidence | WIRED

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